Latest Blog Entries
Lord, make me more like a Dachshund
Dachshunds, Declaration of Dependence
My girlfriend's dachshund whines a lot. She's really cute, but she is always whimpering. It wouldn't be so bad if it was only for things that were easily fixable, like when she wants food or water or even attention. She does it for no apparent reason. I know there is one, but we can't always figure out what she wants.
I'm not like her at all. When there are things I need but can't get for myself, I try to tough it out. I push through it and look for the solution that I just haven't found yet. I imagine that if I were a pup, I'd go hungry a lot, never find my way outside, and never get the attention I craved. I have a Master that knows my every need and desire (better than I know Lucy's!), and yet I don't cry out to Him. Ever, really. I pray for things, but I don't cry out to Him or for Him.
I'd like to say that it's because I'm so mature and wise that I don't need to - because I know He'll take care of me. But that isn't it. It's because I'm so proud that I think I'll be able to figure it out on my own. I don't want to admit that I need assistance in such trivial matters, and I become all the more determined to do it on my own when the matters aren't so trivial.
I want to cry out to my Master. He doesn't need me to cry out to Him, but I do. I need to be reminded of my weakness and His strength. Of my dependence upon Him.
How often do you cry out to God when you are in need? Would it hurt for you to become more like my girlfriend's dachshund: dependent upon your Master?
It's not that I'm lazy
Office Space, Self-Discipline
I have absolutely no self-discipline. I cannot stick to anything without a lot of motivation. I love running and I got the go ahead from my doctor almost a year ago to start running small distances and building the strength in my foot. Since then, I've run less than half a dozen times. It's not that I can't or don't enjoy it, I just cannot make myself get up early and go run. (I live in the heat of Texas, so running in the evenings is out of the question for another couple of months.) I love taking time out of my day to read the bible. It refocuses me on what matters most and usually puts me in a great mood. But I almost never do it. I just can't get into a regular habit of it - or anything else for that matter.
Some people thrive on routine. I am not one of them. I struggle to get into a routine, barely able to get up at the same time every morning. It's not even that I don't care. It's that it is just against my nature for some reason. I'm not wired that way. That isn't to say that I can't do it, just that it is quite a struggle with myself.
How are you with self-discipline? Does it come naturally or do you have to work at it?
God called me to be an Indian Giver
Woodcreek, Work, Giving
If money was not a concern, what would I do? Well, I'd be really involved with my church, ideally teaching and helping out with technical stuff like slides, sound, and web stuff. I would probably want to do web development in my free time, making websites for friends and family, maybe doing some contract work to get some professional sites into my portfolio. I'd spend a lot of time with my family, my girlfriend, and her family.
So what does my life actually look like? Well, I'm really involved with my church. I'm teaching Sunday School to the Youth (middle school and high school), as well as subbing in for slides and sound as necessary. I redesigned the church website recently and am working on adding content. I do web development for a living, as well as making websites for friends and family on occasion. I spend almost every day with my girlfriend and a few nights a week with each of our families.
God has blessed me, indeed. I try to give back to Him that which He has given me. To "tithe", so to speak, my time, talents and other blessings. To find new ways to use what He has given me for His glory and His purposes.
How has God blessed you lately? Are you giving those blessing back to Him for His glory? How?
The Universe Declares Your Majesty
Christianity, Enterprise
I have a secret. I...watch Star Trek. >.<
It's my girlfriend's fault. She watches it with her family a few times a week and I got suckered into it. But...I actually like it. It's a good story and includes a lot of something that I've always loved: space. One of my life goals is to see the stars unobstructed by the atmosphere, to see them from space.
Can you picture it? How beautiful would that be? I imagine listening to God of Wonders while looking out a port hole at all the stars and maybe even a few planets. Sometimes I am overtaken by the wonder of His creation. I've always been fascinated by space and the stars. Why would He create so many millions and billions of stars and planets that most (if not all) humans will never see? Because they glorify His name and praise Him simply by existing!
I hope that over the next 20 or 30 years, traveling to space or the moon will be a tourist attraction. Maybe then I'll be able to scratch that off my life goals list. And I'd get to witness His glory in a way unlike any I've ever experienced.
In what do you see God's glory so much that it leaves you standing in awe? Is it something in nature? What about in other people?
There are 400 billion stars in our galaxy. We've only explored a tiny fraction of them. We have a lot to do.
~ Captain Jonathan Archer, Starship Enterprise
Pride before the...
JSW
Jaysin Scott Wamsley. He was my role model while I was in high school. The father and husband and youth pastor that I wanted to be someday. He is the reason I am the man I am today. He pushed me and inspired me to seek a more intimate relationship with Christ. It was under him that I discovered my spiritual gift of teaching and leadership. He gave me the opportunity and the confidence to give a sermon to my church only a few weeks after my 18th birthday. He was incredibly talented - he could draw and write like nobody else. He was also very loyal to his family, especially his brothers.
But he was also human.
I'm rather speechless, even now, a year and a half after he was sentenced to 20 years in prison.
I'm hurt. Seeing someone I respected and loved so much do...the unthinkable. I knew her. She was a pretty good friend of mine, actually. I hurt for her. I know I'll never know the tiniest fraction of pain she has felt, and it hurts all the more because of it.
I'm angry. How could he? I would have trusted him with my life, without thinking twice about it. God was doing incredible things through him. We had kids from 7 different schools and almost as many different denominations coming every week. Many of them were stepping up as leaders and helping to bring new people all the time. And he messed it up. He took this wonderful responsibility and discarded it like garbage. Like it was nothing.
I'm...scared. I see Jaysin. I see who he was, what God was doing in his life. And I see what he did, how quickly everything got away from him. In the former, I see my own life. I see the man I am striving to be and the vessel I want to be for God. And I see how easily it could all be lost. I rationalize sin every day of my life. I justify it. I ignore the consequences given the prospect of temporary enjoyment. The sins seem so small at the time, but I know any one of them could spin out of control.
I'm hurt and I'm angry, but I also...sympathize. I can't forgive him, not yet. I want to, but I'm not ready. But I see who he was and I cannot let his sins invalidate the work God did through him. He's lost "role model" status, but I hope that some day I can be friends with him once again.
When you first read that article, did you sympathize with Jaysin? Can you put yourself in his shoes: jeopardizing everything you know and love because you couldn't say no to tempation?
